Directed by Nick Giannopoulos

Young Danny (Nick Giannopoulos) has a very pushy stage mother Sally (Chantal Contouri) who is so eager to make him a star that he is reduced to singing ?You?re the one that I want? on a television talent quest. She has made him take lessons in just about everything including; dancing, acting, tai chi, singing and even dress making. Unfortunately for Danny though, he has no talent in most of those areas. He can sew a straight hem though.

Years down the track, Danny is teaching dance to some oldies, quite badly if I may say, when he is offered a job to coach four guys for a whopping $5000. Danny thinks he is training them to be a children?s group but what he doesn?t realize is that they are a bunch of criminals who plan on stinging the house they are going to perform in.

The group consists of Marcus (the brains of the group played by Russell Dykstra), Adrian (quite violent and takes an instant dislike to Danny), Hammer (a foul mouthed white rapper) and Stewie (Tony Nikolakopoulos) who is transformed into Wally the Wombat. What kid?s group would be complete without a cute animal mascot ?

Adrian (Costas Kilias) attempts to kill Danny, for making him sing, but falls through the roof and ends up in hospital. How can The Wannabes perform when they are a man down? Don?t worry though as Danny decides to join the group unaware that they are at only going to the Van Dyke house not to entertain the grandson, Benji, but to steal Mrs Aurora Van Dyke?s (Lena Cruz) diamond necklace.

Of course their plan backfires and they don?t escape with the diamonds but Jimmy King?s (the gig organizer played by Michael Carman) phone rings hot asking to book ?The Wannabes? for numerous gigs. Appearances on ?Rove Live? follow and the CD sales soar. They have become overnight sensations with songs like ?Smelly Socks? and ?The Christmas Song?

Bill Gennaro (Felix Williamson) is a famous actor who Mrs Van Dyke secretly yearns for. When she finds out who was responsible for trying to steal her diamonds she blackmails ?The Wannabes? to kidnap Bill Gennaro at the ?OZcar Awards? so she can spend one night with him. She is sick of making love to her old man Granville who is clearly at death?s door. To help her with her quest, she kidnaps Oliver, the son of Danny?s love interest, Kirsty (Isla Fisher) who is also Marcus? niece.

Everything works out for the best as one would expect. Oliver is reunited with his mother and Danny finds true love. Stewie finds enlightenment through his introduction to eastern cultures and yoga and Adrian gets the occupation he has always longed for. Oh and Hammer (Ryan Johnson) finally gets to put his ?hammer? to use if you know what I mean.

The ?F? word is dropped on numerous occasions and so if this offends steer clear of this movie. If grown men wearing terry toweling doesn?t appeal then you would also be advised to avoid ?The Wannabes? as well, particularly when the colours of choice are orange, lime green and hot pink.

This movie has made me realize (and I hope Nick Giannopoulos) that he should stick to being a ?wog? as it was pretty baaaaaad. Many of the jokes weren?t funny, many of the scenes truly cringe worthy and most of the acting quite appalling. Bill Gennaro has the worst American accent ever. Isla Fisher needs to stick to being Mrs. Ali G (if he actually marries her!!). She should stick to soapies where she is amongst her equals.

Nick Giannopoulos? performance was way too over the top. The leg warmers, the mannerisms and the annoying voice were all wrong. Everytime he said his catch cry ?Allrrrrright? I just wanted to throw something at the screen. Lena Cruz?s character Aurora was a Rose Hancock clone and nobody wants to see that in a film. It is bad enough seeing her on the news. Most of the actors are relative unknowns and will probably remain that way. Costas Kilias is well known because of ?The Castle? and as the ?equity mate? guy from the Commonwealth Bank ads but he continues to play the same sort of role.

There were some ?laugh out loud? moments like when Stewie was learning to dance but these were limited. The ?kids songs? were cute at times but this is not a movie for the kids due to all the violence and the foul language. The DVD does offer a ?kids version? of the film with the language toned down but I would recommend avoiding showing this film to your children at all costs.

Overall, I would not recommend spending too much movie hiring this ?shocker? and please don?t waste your money actually purchasing a copy. My copy will not be getting another showing on my DVD player. The Wannabes did start out promising and I liked the story line but my enjoyment soon dissipated when Aurora Van Dyke and Bill Gennaro started gracing the screen.

This is yet another example as to why I rarely watch Australian films. I can still only count the really decent ones on one solitary hand. ?The Wog Boy? would not be one of them either. Please Nick, stick to stand up comedy and supporting ?The Scud? at the tennis. Allrrrrrright!!!!!!

THE EXTRAS

There are some special features to select if you have managed to watch all the movie and are a glutton for punishment. They include:
? Scene selection (27 different scenes to choose from)
? A kid?s version of the film with most of the bad language eliminated. I didn?t watch this version so I don?t know how ?toned down? the language was. I don?t think they could eliminate the violent behaviour though.
? A theatrical trailer (2 ? minutes worth) Of course, they have shown all the ?funny bits?.
? Poster and Photo gallery (28 still shots to look at). Why would you bother?
? Three music videos to peruse here ?Smelly Socks? and ?The Christmas Song? by The Wannabes and ?I wanna wake up with you? by David Franj. As I said earlier, The Wannabes songs are quite cute. The videos are just bits of the movies put to The Wannabes music, there is nothing original here.
? Wannabe storyboards for selected scenes. These are just drawings of what the scenes would look like.
? The ?Making Of? documentary ?Inside the Wannabes? hosted by Angela Bishop. Angela Bishop actually has a cameo in the movie and it ends up on the cutting room floor. Well, at least taste was displayed there. This is your standard documentary fare, all the actors taking about their roles and talking about how good the movie is. Runs for just over 21 minutes.

CONCLUSION

The Wannabes is another Australian made movie to avoid. Danny (Nick Giannopoulos) is hired by a bunch of criminals to turn them into a children?s group with the sole purpose to rob the Van Dyke?s home of a diamond necklace. The robbery is a complete failure but ?The Wannabes? become an over night sensation. There is plenty of swearing and some funny moments but overall this film doesn?t know what audience it is actually looking to entertain. It is too violent for the kiddies and too stupid for the adults. There are some extras to endure but fortunately for Non - Australians, English is the only language option available. Please Nick, stick to stand up comedy!