Directed by Eli Roth

Cabin Fever is supposed to be a horror film but I have to say that I have seen scarier outfits at the Academy Awards. I think I had one moment when I actually jumped, but the remainder of the film was just laughable. This movie is set in a cabin in the woods but the killer in this film was not mutated mountain men or an axe wielding psychopath but a ?flesh eating virus?.

Five students rent a cabin for a week to celebrate finishing college. At the local General Store on their way there they encounter a sign ?Do not sit next to Dennis? and a rather funny looking boy sitting on a swing who looks too much like a girl for my liking. One of them, Paul (Rider Strong) doesn?t see the sign and is bitten. When they finally arrive at their cabin Bert (James De Bello) goes out looking for squirrels to shoot but instead comes across and accidentally shots a hermit who was quite ill and bloodied from this virus. He refuses to help him and at night when the hermit again arrives at the cabin they set him on fire, but not before he vomits blood up everywhere in their car. The poor quintet are now stranded and can?t get any help and their mobile phones have no signals. Who will save them?

The poor hermit runs away to die and his final resting place is the local reservoir. Yes, that is right, the disease is now spread by drinking water. First Karen (Jordan Ladd), then Marcy (Cerina Vincent) and then Bert succumb but not before Dennis bites Bert when he goes to them for help. What is wrong with that kid? Jeff (Joey Kern) freaks out and leaves his friends to die while Paul tries to get help but his health is quickly deteriorating as well. Will any of these poor souls survive or will they just end up victims of this horrific virus which is supposedly based on a real life disease? Will the disease spread beyond the cabin? What will happen to Dennis? All will be revealed if you are willing to waste your time watching this flick.

My answer to all the questions above is who really cares? This is probably one of the worst and most pathetic films I have ever seen. The actors are all nobodies and will probably remain that way. Normally I can watch a film and at least recognize one actor but not this time. I can?t see any of them doing a Jamie Lee Curtis and making it into mainstream films even though as one would expect both the female leads are beautiful. The boys, well that is another story. One of them looks like he could make it big as a porn star with his hair style, that is assuming he has the right equipment, but that?s about it.

There was no suspense and the only ?scary? thing was watching their skin decay and seeing all the blood. If I want to see that much blood I can always go to the Blood Bank. I am not being fair, there was suspense in the fact that we did not know what part of the body the virus would attack first. Would it be their backs or their legs?

None of the characters are likeable and so I did not feel sorry for any of them. Bert was too violent and just wanted to shoot things and drink beer. Jeff and Marcy just wanted to indulge in horizontal folk dancing and when Jeff fled in fear of his life she moved on to Paul. Paul was cute at the beginning when he was trying to win over Karen but then turned into a callous murderer. Once Karen showed symptoms of the disease she was thrown out of the cabin and looked in a shed. With friends like that, who needs enemies. Thank god the film was only 89 minutes because I could endure no more.

There was one quirky character, Deputy Winston (Giuseppe Andrews) but he was the only one with any personality at all. He was a member of the local police force but was more interested in partying with all the tourists. He was a little like David Arquette?s character in the Scream trilogy but not as endearing.

Overall, I would have to be honest and say don?t bother with this one. Save your money! The film is really low budget and I am actually still in shock that this film was actually released at the cinemas, What were they thinking? This kind of film is your usual straight to video offering but at least then you know what you are letting yourself in for.

Finally, if you are a big horror film fan you may enjoy looking for the many references to other films scattered throughout ?Cabin Fever: even if they are quite obscure. Otherwise - Cabin Fever, please don?t catch it!!!!!

THE EXTRAS

Quite a few extras to watch here if you are a glutton for punishment. Other than scene selection, which is a standard feature on all DVDs, there are the following features to peruse. They are:

? Audio Commentary by the director Eli Roth. Didn?t bother listening to this!
? Popcorn Taxi ?Question and Answer Session with Eli Roth ? The director is quite cute and young but I am not at all concerned as to why he decided to do a horror film or when he started writing etc. He is certainly not afraid to use the ?F word? either. What?s with the squirrel hand puppet? Runs for over 35 minutes but I had had enough after five!
? Beneath Skin ? The making of Cabin Fever. This documentary runs for just under 29 minutes. This film was inspired by a skin infection that Eli Roth (the director) actually had. Like most documentaries, we hear from the producers, all the actors and the director yet again. They discuss the music used throughout the film, the sets, the special effects(make up) and the fact that this film was first shown at the Toronto Film Festival way back in 2002 and how a bidding war erupted between the studios to distribute this film worldwide. Why did they bother?
? A Teaser Trailer and Theatrical trailer are both available.
? The audition tape of Dennis ?Pancake Boy? ? here he is basically strutting his stuff, as he is a black belt in karate. He would have to be, otherwise he would be severely picked on at school. Poor quality video and a waste of my time watching it. Only runs for just under two minutes, which was a bonus.
? Rotten Fruit ? three animations by Eli Roth and Noah Belson about, yes you guessed it, fruit. Poorly behaved fruit for that matter. It has nothing to do with Cabin Fever whatsoever. There are three little episodes on this DVD entitled ?Room Service?, ?Snackster? and ?Battle of the Bands?. The longest one runs for about 5 minutes.

I must admit I didn?t spend a lot of time of these features as I had had enough of this movie. The sad thing is that all the people involved in making it were just so excited about the film.

CONCLUSION

Cabin Fever is a horror film based around five students who hire a cabin in the woods and one by one they are affected by a ?flesh eating virus? that was transmitted through their water supply when they torched an affected hermit and the reservoir was his final resting place. That will teach them, won?t it! Most of the cast are unknowns and their characters are not likeable at all so I quite enjoyed seeing them covered in blood and going crazy. There are plenty of extras to endure after the film if you feel the urge but I would have to say, avoid this DVD like the plague! Cabin Fever, you will be glad you didn?t catch it! Trust me!