Directed by Richard Lester

Written for the screen by Charles Wood from a novel by Patrick Ryan, this is a seriously unfunny black comedy based on World War II events. This ridiculous piece of rubbish involves the experiences of a group of soldiers of the 4th Musketeers, sent behind enemy lines in North Africa to build a cricket pitch for British superiors led by Colonel Grapple (Michael Hordern) and his bunch of collector-card fanatics. Lieutenant Goodbody (Michael Crawford) leads a group of offbeat and inept characters including Gripweed (John Lennon) and Clapper (Roy Kinnear) on this ill-conceived jaunt.

The film is structured in such a way as to leave viewers totally perplexed as to their place within the feature ? at one point we have Lieut Goodbody (and others) speaking directly to the camera; we then have desert battles that are interspersed with flashbacks to the Dunkirk near-catastrophe using real B/W and sepia footage (remember that these guys are supposedly in North Africa); constant references to the ?rogering? of the wife of one of the soldiers by strangers (which is untrue anyway!); then we transfer to a time when Goodbody is a prisoner of a German officer near the last standing bridge on the Rhine; then back to England to see two old biddies watching wartime newsreels; plus the occasional use of wartime correspondents in the field to keep us up-to-date with what?s happening on screen and on the home front. There are even two times during the film when cast members speak directly to the production crew ? once when they plead with the cameraman to stop filming! This is one crazy flick?! And I hope someone can help me out ? why for goodness sake does one soldier suddenly appear painted blue, followed by others in different hues during the progress of the film?

The one worthwhile message that was intended to come through ? that war is senseless ? is unfortunately buried in this confusing mish-mash of surrealism.

Michael Crawford is given some rein to act in a similar style to his famous Some Mothers Do ?Ave ?Em character without the silly voice; but the script is so weird and disjointed, that any semblance of character development is quite impossible. Other respectable actors such as Hordern and Kinnear are left floundering with stilted dialogue that hinders any possibility of individual brilliance. There are some relatively strong performances from other cast members, but their relevance to the plot remains beyond my comprehension.

THE EXTRAS

Mercifully, I wasn?t required to endure any special features connected to this sham of a feature.

CONCLUSION

How I Won the War would have to be the worst feature I have had to review this year ? though I realised that I was taking a gamble in undertaking this review. Worse still, it is clearly the worst movie I have seen all year! The storyline is incredulous; the screenplay confusing and quite unfunny (though the original book may not have been of great assistance); and the cast are hamstrung from showing any degree of ability or providing entertainment value.

It is true that as an obvious anti-war story, it was somewhat effective in conveying its message; but there are many more movies about that are funnier(?) yet more shocking and are far more effective. An obvious (and realistically scary) example is the Cold War anti-war classic, Dr Strangelove ? and I could certainly mention a couple of brilliant serious anti-war classics from Britain and America.